Monday 17 December 2012

Tube drivers failing to realise striking means Boxing Day ‘with the family’


Tube strike on Boxing Day

Tube drivers planning to strike on Boxing Day have failed to grasp the full consequences of their actions, a report revealed today.

The planned Boxing Day strike is going ahead because TfL won’t pay tube drivers triple time, give them a day off in lieu and provide safety uniforms made from unicorn skin.

However, commuter Simon Williams told us it sounded like the union hadn’t really thought this whole ‘strike thing’ through.

“I really don’t think they get it. I’d gladly work on Boxing Day, for normal pay, if it kept me away from pissed Aunts and sprout infested bubble and squeak.”

“Can you imagine being paid and being given an excuse to avoid your family on Boxing Day? The lucky bastards.”

Tube strike on Boxing Day

Upon learning of the true implications of a day of industrial action in the middle of the Christmas holidays, some tube drivers have expressed remorse for their previous demands.

Driver Ted Matthews told us “Could we take up that last offer TfL made, we don’t care what it was – we’ll take it.”

But experienced tube driver Shane Norland explained the Boxing Day issue is not one that will affect him personally.

“I’ve told my family that I’ll be breaking the strike to try and altruistically¬†help Londoners enjoy their Christmases at this special time of year.”

“I won’t of course, I’ll be in the pub with the lads. I’m a tube driver for god’s sake, not a bloody saint.”

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