Saturday 15 December 2012

US National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘schools’


NRA call to ban schools

After another tragic shooting at a US school, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to ban schools.

The shooting at the Sandy Hook elementary school has left twenty children dead and forced the NRA to call for immediate changes to existing legislation.

NRA spokesperson Wayne Keene told reporters, “This is a terrible moment for the United States, and our hearts go out to all of those affected, but now is the time to acknowledge that this senseless act would never have happened if it wasn’t for this ‘school’.”

“People will say that the right to an education is an inalienable right and was core to the vision of this country’s forefathers, but we live in different times now, and clearly something needs to be done.”

“It won’t be popular, and people will obviously resist the change, but in order to protect this nation’s children it is now the time to ban schools.”

“Do you know how many school massacres there are in Chad? None. Do you know why? Because the don’t have an organised secondary school system.”

“The evidence is right there in front of us.”

National Rifle Association

When asked if tighter gun control laws could also have prevented the Connecticut shooting, Keene said such suggestions were simply ‘grasping at straws’.

He went on, “People will make knee jerk assumptions on why this tragic event occurred  but I would ask you all not to lose sight of the fact that these children were gathered in a convenient place of learning.”

“Columbine, Virginia Tech, and now Sandy Hook. Education is at the root of all these tragedies.”

“High-powered assault rifles don’t kill children, schools do.”

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