Friday 14 December 2012

Top Google searches reveal average UK resident to be teenage boy with IQ of 40


Top UK Google searches

As Google released the most popular searches in the UK during the last 12 months, the average UK resident has been revealed to be a  13 year-old boy with the attention span of a goldfish.

With search terms in the top ten including ‘iPad’ ‘Gary Barlow’ and ‘Gangnam Style’, Google explained that you are surrounded by the sort of people who would normally be institutionalised.

Google spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “Imagine being trapped in a conversation with someone who wanted to show you a mash-up video on their iPad of Gary Barlow doing Gangnam style on piano.”

“That’s the sort of prick we’re talking about here.”

“Add in a complete fascination with Kate Middleton and football and you’ve got yourself the UK personified.”

“It’s all terribly sad, isn’t it?”

Top Google searches released

Google user Matt Jenkins claimed the results were not an accurate reflection of the searches he normally makes.

He told us, “Well, for a start every female name should have the word ‘bikini’ after it. And where is the phrase ‘cat piano’?”

“But I’m not surprised there are no adult terms on there, because we’ve got them all well bookmarked, haven’t we boys?”

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