Michael Owen’s continued issues with injury are so severe, a cursory glance at his medical record looks like he played against Stoke City every week, according to manager Tony Pulis.
The Welshman, whose side have accrued more yellow cards this season than any other side in the Premier League, claims he would never have signed the former England International had he known the full extent of his problems.
He told reporters, “Signing a proven goalscorer of international class is one thing, but acquiring one who is liable to pull up lame at the drop of a top hat in the parading ring might have been an error on my part.”
“What I failed to consider, was that as soon as Michael returns to anything approaching full fitness, he has to submit himself to the rigours of training with one of my players, and that means an awful lot waist-high tackling and the like.”
“It was silly of me because this guy’s medical records read like a Casualty script.”
Owen himself was more effusive in delighting at his recent move to the Potteries, particularly given the opportunity to watch Division 3 football being played out in the Premier League during his convalescence.
“The buzz of being in there with crowd, with scarves held aloft, is amazing.”
“I can literally feel my hamstrings tightening at the thought of it.”