Taxpayers across the country have insisted that ‘paying how much tax you think is fair’ sounds like a great way to run the economy.
As Starbucks announced plans to pay £20m in corporation tax over the next two years, shop fitter Simon Williams of Doncaster said he plans to pay £2,420 in income tax over the same period.
Williams explained, “Let’s not get bogged down in details such as how much money I’m actually making, let’s focus on the fact that I’ve listened to the Chancellor and I’m telling him right now I’m going to pay some tax in two years time.”
“He might as well knock that amount off the fiscal deficit right now.”
Tax accountant Mike Bakewell told us, “I admire the stance taken by Starbucks, and I only wish more corporate entities agreed to pay amounts of tax they’ve arbitrarily announced as ‘fair’. It would make my job a lot easier for a start.”
“Maybe this is a turning point and the corporations are finally becoming socially responsible businesses? What? Why are you all laughing at me?”
Starbucks tax bill
The move has been welcomed by the Chancellor George Osborne as it means he doesn’t have to do anything.
Starbucks released a statement on their tax plans, announcing: “We have listened to our customers – mainly as they shouted obscenities at us through our empty doorways – and Starbucks would like to go on record as saying we will be paying some tax for the next two years.”
“So please stop walking right past us on the high street.”