Friday 7 December 2012

French sperm counts ‘still too high’, claim researchers


French men are still capable of reproducing, experts have claimed today.

Despite a 32% drop in sperm counts across the nation, medical professionals are reporting a worrying amount of new French people still being created.

Lead researcher Simon Williams explained, “We’d expect to see a sharp fall in gallic growth as a result of this sperm count reduction, but for some reason they’re impregnating just as many women as they were before.”

“We’re baffled to be honest. Can we be sure it’s not the immigrant population doing the impregnating?”

French sperm count

The study also discovered that although there was a precipitous fall in French sperm count, the gallic feeling of self-importance was as strong as ever amongst the subjects.

Williams went on, “A lower sperm count has done nothing to diminish their massive egos. It’s almost like they don’t care that their ejaculate has all the potency of a pint of Fosters.”

“They’re a bit like Pandas in that respect, though I can’t image people paying good money to watch a Frenchman in the zoo.”

“Especially if it just sits there chewing on a baguette leering at passing women but refusing to have sex.”

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