Tuesday 4 December 2012 by JohnnyBeelzebub

Kate Middleton ensures Hyperemesis Gravidarum is ‘newest celebrity weight loss craze’


Kate Middleton’s vomiting condition has given diet fans a trendy alternative to tapeworms.

Celebrity nutritionists insist that the constant regurgitation of hyperemesis gravidarum can achieve similar dramatic weight loss to the hugely popular tapeworm diet made famous by Tyra Banks in 2009.

“It’s the next big thing,” claimed weight loss guru, Leo Wilkes.

“Having a baby in your womb is a lot like supporting a parasite in your gut, or a royal family in your country.”

“It’s just a variation on the same theme so nobody should have any qualms about allowing men to ejaculate up inside them at every opportunity.”

The Middleton ‘diet’

Wilkes went on, “It won’t guarantee you’ll be blessed with Kate’s condition, especially if you’re male, but I guess it’s worth a try.”

The key difference between the two weight loss programs is that babies only last for nine months at which point it is promptly expelled via the vagina.

There is anecdotal evidence which suggests some women can find this process painful but as Wilkes explained, “that’s only if they have a low threshold for pain.”

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