Friday 30 November 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Last-minute surge in demand for Mayan apocalypse advent calendars


Britain’s high streets are experiencing a huge surge in last-minute shoppers, desperate to get their hands on a Mayan apocalypse advent calendar.

With just a day to go before the final countdown begins, bits of card with numbered windows on are flying off the shelves.

“It’s chaos in there”, exclaimed Brian Flowers, clutching an armful of Disney-endorsed end-time souvenirs. “The manager said they’re not getting any more stock until January.”

With the calendars changing hands on ebay for hundreds of pounds, some are bound to be left disappointed by the sudden extinction of all life in the planet.

“I can’t find one anywhere, my kids are going to be so disappointed”, said mother-of-two Mary Higgins.

“I guess I’ll just have to try and make it up to them at Easter.”

Mayan advent calendar

Gerald Sorris is the man behind the popular doomsday trackers, and is delighted with how well they’re selling.

“So far, they’ve exceeded all of our predictions”, said Sorris. “At this rate, I’m a shoo-in for promotion.”

Behind each window is a cocoa-based portent of doom, ranging from a comet to a rainfall of fishes.

The final window is considerably larger than the rest, and includes a flashlight, a survival bag and a whistle.

“At the moment, we’re outselling the more traditional Christmas advent countdowns by 5 to 1”, boasted Sorris.

“But I’m not surprised: each of my calendars contains 6 extra chocolates.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: