Wednesday 21 November 2012 by Ollie Perks

Shopping centre votes against appointing women Santas


Shop owners at the Westfield shopping centre in east London have narrowly voted against plans to allow women to become Father Christmas in the centre Grotto.

The ‘no’ vote comes despite Ann Summers offering to provide a female version of the famous red suit.

The vote was held during the centre’s quarterly ‘health and safety for store managers’ meeting, with the result seen as a big defeat for equality and a deterrent to the predicted increase in male shoppers.

This would have been good for women,” a spokesman for the shopping centre told us.

“Having a Female Santa could have seen the male population more inclined to help out with the annual Christmas shop.”

“However marketing her as a SILF was maybe taking it a bit far.”

Female Santa

Women have been allowed to take the role as ‘Santa’s little helpers’ for 20 years.

That right came at the same time women could be ordained as priests, allowing both groups to help children believe and worship a fictional character.

Opponents to the plans believed that allowing women to take the role of Santa would have been disastrous, citing New Zealand as an example.

“They are allowed to have Mother Christmas over there and it has caused nothing but problems.” one ‘no’ voter told us.

“They spend their day explaining to Dads that the invite to sit on their lap was meant for the child.”

“No, history shows our children would be much safer sitting on the lap of a man they don’t know who is in disguise offering them sweets.”

The chances of another vote on the matter in the near future are slim, but campaigners have already started their fight for equality in other areas, this time with national newspapers backing their cause.

Editor of The Sun, Dominic Mohan, has promised to back the idea for all female Easter Bunnies over the Easter period.

“We believe our readers will find this to be a worthy cause, so to that end, we will feature prospective bunnies every day until Good Friday on Page Three.”

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