Friday 9 November 2012

Rockstar Games announce Gay Witch Hunt for PS3 and Xbox360


The makers of Grand Theft Auto have released the first details of their latest controversial game, Gay Witch Hunt.

The first-person shooter casts players as a scarred victim of 1980s abuse trawling the gentleman’s clubs of Mayfair and Chelsea in search of former Conservative officials.

Armed with a Twitter-enabled smartphone and on-screen Gaydar, the as-yet-unnamed protagonist uses a range of magical powers to apprehend and punish his prey.

The timing of the announcement, which will spark widespread condemnation from sections of the Press and therefore guarantee millions of pre-order copy sales, has been described as ‘purely coincidental’ by Rockstar.

But it comes just hours after Prime Minister David Cameron warned against scattergun internet accusations of Conservative politicians, even though everyone knows everything online is made up.

Tory anus

New York-based Rockstar has defended scenes of genital mutilation and a controversial kill move involving a wand and a Tory anus which were revealed in a teaser trailer.

They say their games are clearly marked as 18-rated and can only be played by children if parents cave in to intense peer pressure and buy it for the youngsters, which they hardly ever do – except at Christmas and around birthdays, in lieu of being at home instead of working all the time.

Rockstar also confirmed that their latest Jihadist kids’ adventure God is Great will ship on September 11, 2013.

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