Tuesday 6 November 2012

Manchester United boss quits football to manage Scotland


Sir Alex Ferguson has sensationally called time on his football career by signing a three-year deal to manage Scotland.

Ferguson said he did not take the decision to walk away from the game lightly.

“I’ve devoted almost my entire life to football, but now it’s time to try something totally different. And it doesn’t get much more different than taking charge of the Scottish national side,” a statement from the ex-football manager said.

“There were other options, but inevitably they involved football in some way.”

“I want to be a million miles away from the game, so this is a great opportunity for me.”

Scotland manager

Ferguson did flirt with a break from football when he managed Scotland on a part-time basis in 1985, following the death of Jock Stein. But a string of good results cut short his tenure and he was forced to return to the game.

Now the 70-year-old will face his greatest ever challenge by following in the clown-shoe footsteps of Craig Levein.

Emulating Levein’s record of appalling results is just the tip of the iceberg. Ferguson’s predecessor sought the systematic eradication of all traces of football from the Scottish game during his spell in charge.

And even though Ferguson once spent £28.1m on Juan Sebastian Veron, he will struggle to match that level of disregard for football logic, according to ginger ferret Gordon Strachan.

Strachan said, “The last guy was shocking. He slipped to three wins in twelve matches, which isn’t good enough.”

“Ferguson is a born winner and will struggle. Sometimes I wonder if he’s Scottish at all.”

But Ferguson might have already pulled off the first masterstroke of his tenure.

The wily ex-boss has flown to meet Emile Heskey after discovering the former Aston Villa ‘striker’ has a Scottish great-grandmother.

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