Monday 5 November 2012 by Waylandsmithy

‘Final push’ to get emergency polling booths into worst affected areas of New York


In an unusual show of affinity, both Democrats and Republicans have agreed to ‘work together’ to bring polling booths to neighbourhoods worst affected by Hurricane Sandy.

With winter fast approaching and fuel in short supply, President Obama announced his support for a fleet of heavily articulated 4×4 mobile polling booths, capable of delivering democracy across flood-wreaked terrain.

With a massive front for bulldozing flotsam and Jetsam from even the most ignored of communities, Romney welcomed the move as ‘a tick in the box’ for emergency response priorities.

“With almost a million people still without power and freezing temperatures on their way, what these people urgently need is a democratic voice”, he insisted.

“These huddled, frozen wretches will soon benefit from the warm glow only voting can give you.”

“Even the poorest American has the right to make a poorly informed choice, and select someone to ignore them, once this election’s out of the way.”

Emergency voting underway

Romney is doing his bit to help those on the streets of downtown Manhattan, by paying them lip-service as he campaigns in Ohio.

Obama has taken a more hands-on approach, personally delivering pizza to the drivers of the booths. “There’s lots more pizza where that came from”, beamed the current President.

“I’m handing it out in the emergency exit poll TV lounges. One man, one vote, one slice of pizza.”

“My advisors assure me that’s a much more voter-friendly image to portray, than have me haul drowned hobos from the Hoboken tunnel.”

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