Thursday 1 November 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Metropolitan Police to be sponsored by Fisher Price


The capital’s police force have signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with the toy firm Fisher Price. From next week, officers will be encouraged to be ‘more jolly and wobbly’, and wear a mask with the fixed grin of a Weeble.

With budget cuts, red tape and a poor public image, most would forgive London’s Police officers for looking less than cheerful.

But with a tow-along yellow duck following each and every beat bobby, being arrested has never been so much fun.

“Fisher Price is a good demographic match for our officers”, explained Commissioner Hogan-Howe.

“The tough, bright plastics really help focus their attention. It’s also good for public relations: what sort of activist wouldn’t enjoy being kettled, once it’s rebranded as ‘big yellow tea potting’?”

Hogan-Howe believes there’s a strong synergy between the two brands, with ‘My Little Tazer’ expected to be this year’s ‘must have’ Christmas toy.

Police cutbacks

But critics don’t believe the police are a good role model for children, who already spend far too much time indoors.

“I told my son to go out on his bike and get some fresh air”, complained a mother who wished to remain anonymous.

“But instead he spent the morning colouring in paperwork.”

The deal has already changed the way some kids look at their toys, as father of two Derek Jones explained, “When I went into Toysrus with my two boys, they just weren’t interested in most of the Scalextric cars.”

“But when they spotted a shiny Mercedes being driven by Lewis Hamilton, they made a beeline for it, and started smashing the lights in.”

The success of the deal has led to other emergency services looking at sponsorship deals, with the Fire Service in advanced talks with the makers of ‘Transformers’.

“The kids are going to love our new robot fireman”, enthused a spokesman. “Once the shift rota’s signed, it turns into a plumber.”

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