Media bastard Rupert Murdoch has unveiled a statue to the late Sir James Savile, on an undersize paedium overlooking the BBC’s headquarters.
Naked, heavily tarnished and sitting astride a cowed Director General, the ‘Savile Rampant’ was met with applause from an expectant crowd of News Corp journalists.
Wearing a derivative Savile Halloween mask cut from the pages of the Times, Murdoch dictated to a waiting Sun editor what to make of the leering statue.
“Sir Savile may have passed on, but you will never forget him”, explained a beaming Murdoch.
“Especially if we run endless stories on him, right throughout Rebekah Brooks’ trial.”
Murdoch on Savile
Murdoch led a slow hand-clap as the monument to sunk reputations was revealed.
In a ceremony more often reserved for the launching of a ship, a child actor representing Savile’s alleged victims bad-named the statue, before bottling it in the arse.
News Corp has faced its own struggle with negative publicity in recent months, with just handfuls of suggestions of criminality marring an otherwise blemished record.
Murdoch spoke of his relief at no longer having to raise his own standards, and thanked the BBC for giving him the chance to suggest they’d sunk below his level.
“To mark this broadcasting millstone I’ll be unveiling a lot more statues shortly”, announced Murdoch.
“I’ll be pulling a manky bedsheet off each and every one of them, shortly after they’re arrested.”
The media mogul explained to his minions why the timing was so important.
“With a police enquiry, a parliamentary investigation and the BBC’s own internal witch-hunt, we might only have a few short months to smear the BBC with Savile, before someone clears the corporation’s name.”
A spokesman for the BBC was quick to denounce the effigy of Sir Jimmy, claiming its looming presence made many of his staff feel violated.
As he explained, “It’s now pretty clear to all of us that this model broadcaster is committing statue-tory rape.”