Monday 29 October 2012 by Alex

More woes for BBC chief as tongue surgically removed from Bond producer’s anus


The Director General of the BBC was under fresh pressure last night after an emergency operation to separate him from a senior executive of Eon Productions, the makers of the James Bond films.

The surgical procedure on George Entwistle followed blanket wall-to-wall promotion of the movie franchise across the corporation’s TV and radio channels.

Whilst the BBC has covered such entertainment events in the past, it is believed to be the first time that the extent of coverage has led to an actual 24/7 lifestyle sub/dom relationship between the public service broadcaster and commercial interests.

Top Gear Special

Aside from wall-to-wall current affairs and radio exposure, a ‘Top Gear’ Bond car special and a Graham Norton advertorial, Mr. Entwistle had authorised an ‘Escape to the Country’ which revealed the mystery house as a hollowed-out volcano, and an episode of ‘In the Night Garden’ which featured the line “I don’t expect you to talk, Mr. Piggle. I expect you to die.”

The tongue operation was revealed by the BBC’s own ‘Newsnight’, presented by Kirsty Wark.

“Doctors have described the Director General’s condition as ‘comfortable’, although his face is heavily bandaged,” her report read.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to paint myself gold.”

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