Monday 22 October 2012

Fury as record-breaking racehorse Frankel is sold into sex slavery


Racehorse Frankel ended his incredible career on Saturday before being sold into sex slavery for the remainder of his pitiful existence.

With a 100% winning record, his owners have decided he is more valuable pimped out to the highest bidder than carrying a brightly coloured jockey around a track.

His new madam explained, “We won’t be paying him as such, no – but he will be kept in absolute luxury. Well, as long as he keeps having sex with exactly who we tell him to and remains physically attractive, obviously.”

Racing analysts have insisted Frankel is ‘one of a kind’ and could therefore become a record-breaking sex worker.

Horse owner Simon Williams told us, “With anticipated earnings of £100m a year, he will become the world’s most highly paid prostitute.”

“He’ll make Billie Piper’s character in The Secret Diary of a Call Girl look like a two-quid crack whore.”

Frankel goes to stud

Animal rights activists have insisted that sex slavery is as cruel to the animal as any other form animal welfare infringement.

Campaigner Sharon Logan told us, “What if he’s not in the mood? We all have days like that. What will they threaten him with then?”

“Sure, they make it sound all romantic by saying he’s being ‘put out to stud’ – but let’s call it what it is, having sex for money.”

However three year-old Beagle hound ‘Mutty’ insisted animal rights activists should focus on genuine cases of cruelty, and leave Frankel to get on with the job at hand.

He barked, “Some animals get all the luck. He gets to spend his days shagging fillies whilst I get to spend it chain-smoking. Life’s not fair.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: