The Football Association is set to open the floodgates for an avalanche of compensation claims after it indicated it would refund fans for the lack of football on display during England internationals, according to a spokesman.
England fans have long complained of having to pay vast sums of money to witness a team incapable of keeping hold of a football long enough to whistle it over the head of a team-mate and out of play.
Three Lions fan, Bill Heck, welcomed the move but warned the FA of a raft of impending claims sure to affect operating profits.
He told his favourite shouty radio station, “I’ve already submitted a claim for my trip to Euro 1992 where I had a ticket for the Sweden game – there certainly wasn’t any football on show that day.”
“It’s no good the FA telling fans to wait a decade or so whilst the newly built centre of excellence St George’s park teaches the Englishness out of our up and coming youngsters.”
“So they should expect to be awash with claims from disaffected England fans sick and tired of watching their team treat a football like a hand grenade for 90 minutes.”
“That’s without Andy Carroll even being on the pitch.”
“Having said that, lobbing a hand grenade at the big Geordie probably isn’t such a bad idea.”
England fan compensation
A spokesman for the FA, Duncan Spratt, denied the move to refund fans would place extra pressure on manager Roy Hodgson.
“Roy knows how we work, and we know how Roy works.”
‘What it appears neither of us quite know, is quite how the game of football works.”