Monday 8 October 2012 by DustyBinLaden

Thora forced us to listen to smutty limericks claim ‘Praise Be!’ researchers


Twins Dorothy and Maureen Lister have broken a thirty-two year silence to reveal that Dame Thora Hird frequently reeled off ribald limericks in the Praise Be! office when they were both present.

“We were both just 52 at the time,” said Dorothy, “and we’d never married or been with a gentleman…”

“…Still haven’t,” interrupted Maureen.

“Well, you can imagine how uncomfortable it made us both feel,” continued Dorothy.

Holding back the tears, Maureen, now 82, recounted one particularly harrowing incident.

“I was standing at the office Gestetner machine preparing copies of ‘Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer’ and ‘Come Holy Ghost and Touch My Tongue’ when Thora jumped on her chair and with upsetting music hall gusto delivered:”

There was a young lass from Devizes
Who had breasts of differing sizes
The left one was small and did nothing at all
And the right one was huge and won prizes

I couldn’t work for the rest of the day. I just sat at my desk and ate parma violets.

Further BBC claims

“Thora also sent me a dirty postcard from Rhyl in 1978, said Dorothy, ‘something I’ve been unable to share until now, even with Maureen.”

Dorothy wasn’t prepared to reveal details of the card, except to say that it was set in a nudist camp and involved the barbecuing of sausages.

A BBC spokesperson has said that the Corporation will probe as deep as necessary to get to the bottom of Hird’s saucy reign of abuse.

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