Thursday 4 October 2012 by Waylandsmithy

BBC Executives admit they knew DJ Moyles ‘was shit’


Chris Moyles

Embarrassed BBC executives have admitted for the first time that they were aware of the ‘inappropriate behaviour’ of one of their most enduring DJs.

With millions of listeners now coming forward to claim their licence fees were abused, whistleblower Charles Hegsworth claims his bosses had known for some time that Chris Moyles was ‘a talentless shit’.

“There were rumours for years, but no-one took them very seriously at first”, claims Hegsworth.

“The chiefs upstairs simply refused to listen to Radio 1. But when the head of puerile entertainment read a review in the Metro, he tried to cover it up, using a coffee cup and a sandwich.”

BBC admission

Moyles was renowned for his work with childish sycophants, who would egg him on to commit unspeakable acting up.

It was from a caravan in Norfolk that the most harrowing story emerged.

“My parents took me there willingly, I was only 18”, claimed Samantha Rhodes.

“As soon as they switched on the radio I knew I was too old for this shit, I can still taste the sick in my mouth.”

With no ear defenders to speak of and a broken zip on her sleeping bag, Rhodes claims she endured the whole tawdry breakfast show.

“All the time, he gave the impression he was ‘doing us a favour”, said Rhodes. “Although I got the impression Comedy Dave knew what he was doing was wrong.”

Rhodes believes no-one past the age of puberty should have been exposed to Chris Moyles, and that the BBC ought to have sacked him when they had the chance.

Others have suggested he should have been handed him over to Channel 5, where he could be kept in isolation on a really shit quiz show.

“It’s too late now though”, sighed Rhodes, barely holding back the tears. “By resigning, he’s already cheated justice.”

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