Tuesday 2 October 2012

Adele’s Bond theme has him telling ex-lovers ‘I’m better off without you’


After Adele confirmed she has completed the new Bond theme, experts predicted it will probably focus on James Bond telling his exes he’s definitely better off without them.

The singer, well known for drawing inspiration from failed relationships, said there was a lot of heartbreak in James Bond and she had done her best to bring that out in her music.

She told reporters, “He’s been jilted, shot at, poisoned and beaten up by his exes – thats’s enough for another entire album right there.”

“I don’t know how he even gets out of bed in the morning.”

“But James Bond is a strong, independent woman – I mean man – and so that’s what this song is all about. Telling them to stuff it and look at his Grammy awards – I mean body count, whatever.”

Adele’s Bond theme

Though a closely guarded secret, music analyst Simon Williams was fortunate to hear the new song before it’s public release.

He told us, “It’s an unusual track, with the great vocals you’d expect, though some of the lyrics are a little surprising, particularly the bit where Bond is apparently telling someone ‘you never should have dumped me, look at me now’.”

“Then there’s the refrain, ‘I’m doing fine now thank you very much, what with all the killing baddies and that’ – which is actually quite catchy.”

“At the end of the day though, it’s an Adele record, so it’s going to number one whatever I say.”

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