Tuesday 25 September 2012

Professor David Nutt to run televised study into the effects of lager and sambuca


Professor David Nutt is to follow up his televised investigation into MDMA by filming the effect on the brains of celebrities of strong continental lager and shots of Italian liqueurs.

After facing criticism that his television programme will glamourise drugs, Nutt said his investigation of lager will do “no such thing of the sort.”

He told reporters, “This is an important area of study, and we have several celebrity participants that we will monitor closely as they consume the amount of lager that is traditionally classified as a ‘big one’.”

“We’ll be watching closely as Danny Dyer, Liam Gallagher and that one out of the girl band are given increasing amounts of alcohol to assess its effects.”

“I think you’ll find it an eye-opening programme, and will do much to change your perception of this easily available, but poorly researched drug.”

David Nutt TV study

Experts have warned that Professor Nutt is creating a positive perception of alcohol, and that any TV show which shows a drunken brawl between Liam Gallagher and Danny Dyer will only serve to promote the the drug as ‘socially desirable.”

Alcohol concern spokesperson Simon Williams, “We want him to show the negative side effects of alcohol, not just the positive ones like how excessive consumption can lead to the broken nose of Danny Dyer, or a black eye for Liam Gallagher.”

“Then there’s the highly likely conception of a new celebrity baby behind the bins outside the television studio.”

“Based on this television show I’m afraid that people will think lager with a sambuca shot is the best thing ever.”

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