The issue of homophobia in football has been greatly exaggerated, claimed an anonymous player from behind a black curtain via voice synthesizer today.
A house of Commons committee report claimed that homophobia is now potentially the most prevalent form of discrimination in football – if you remove outliers such as John Terry.
However, our anonymous footballer told us in a barely audible computer generated tone, “That’s rubbish, from my vantage point safe in this closet I can tell you that the professional football world embraces homosexuals.”
“Not in the hugging sense of the word, but in the ‘happy to live on the same planet as them’ sense of it.”
“I am a gay footballer and inwardly I’m very proud of that fact. I’m confident that if other players knew I was gay they wouldn’t give it a second mention.”
“And the terraces would be full of rainbow flags and songs of support for my lifestyle. I imagine.”
“You can’t tell my accent through this thing can you?”
Discrimination in football
Black professionals have criticised the findings, insisting that racism is still definitely worse than homophobia in the national sport.”
As one explained, “The fans haven’t thought up nearly as many gay songs as black ones, and it will be years until they catch up.”
“Plus you can’t take out a super injunction to stop people finding out you’re black.”