Monday 10 September 2012

So you want us to bring in foreigners who perform better than Brits, Government asks TUC


After the TUC said that the country should be run like the Olympics, government ministers have asked if they’ve actually thought this through.

TUC leader Brendan Barber said the Olympics taught us many lessons, and the country could do worse than being run along the lines of the most successful event in London’s history.

A Whitehall insider told us, “Mr Barber has a point I suppose, and I think opening up our borders to allow the world’s best workers to beat hard-working but less skilled Brits out of a position could be beneficial to the country, certainly.”

“But I’m surprised to hear him tell his members he’d like to see that happen. It’s almost like he’s joined our side.”

“Olympic days also ran from 8am to well into the night, so I guess he’s happy to see working hours extended, too.”

“Not to mention all the people working for free – I’m beginning to really like this plan of his.”

“Brendan’s a registered member of the Tory party, right?”

TUC on Olympics

Olympic officials have welcomed Barber’s comments, claiming it’s about time that Unions adopted an approach where only the truly talented get ahead and those who don’t put in the effort get left behind.

Lord Coe said, “I applaud Mr Barber’s sentiment, and only wish other Unions would follow suit.”

“The Olympics is the pinnacle of competition, with an underlying principle that simply could not be more capitalist if it tried.”

“I’ll come and talk about it at his conference if he’d like?”

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