As a brave Sun journalist slopes his shoulders and points at a cowardly editor, we can finally reveal THE TRUTH about how an inaccurate story somehow slipped onto the pages of Britain’s favourite tabloid.
When Harry Arnold penned a hate-fuelled attack on the victims of the Hillsborough tragedy, he never dreamed that it would UPSET the families and friends of THE VICTIMS.
But when EVIL editor Kelvin Mackenzie TORE OUT the word ‘allegedly’ and VERY SLIGHTLY SHORTENED the headline, Arnold KNEW he could blame his UNJUSTIFIED BILE on him.
“When you claim a scouser stole money off a DEAD OR DYING fan, or urinated on a policeman, it’s really important to add ‘claimed an unnamed source’.” claimed an unnamed source close to Arnold.
“Only a fool would peddle hate without first FABRICATING AN ANONYMOUS WITNESS or EYEING UP A SCAPEGOAT.”
“That’s why Mackenzie was such a great editor: hacks feel safer working behind the shield of A MASSIVE IDIOT.”
Friends close to Arnold claim that Mackenzie WAS HIGH ON CRACK at the time of the article, and PISSED ON A NUN while STAMPING ON A PUPPY.
Since no-one asked him, Mackenzie has failed to deny these claims.
The friend, who can’t be named for reality reasons, also PRESUMED Arnold had signed a lucrative deal with BBC documentary makers.
“When your brain makes you WRITE TERRIBLE LIES FOR MONEY, you shouldn’t have to apologise”, said the ‘friend’.
“There’s no need to, when you can just BLAME IT ON SOMEONE ELSE.”