As the cabinet reshuffle continues around him, Downing Street officials have moved to reassure Nick Clegg that his job is definitely a real one and very important indeed.
With new members being added to the cabinet, and new roles given to existing ministers, Clegg has been told he has a very important decision to make on the new filing system’s colour coding.
A Downing Street source said, “Nick looks a little crestfallen to be honest. I just think he feels a little left out by all these people with whole departments and portfolios.”
“He has got a lovely office under the stairs though, and we printed him up some very natty business cards. He keeps giving them out to the new ministers, he does a phone with his hand and mouths ‘call me’.”
“There’s quite a few on the floor outside Downing Street already.”
In an attempt to placate the Lib Dem leader, Clegg has also been given the unofficial role of Whitehall ‘Social Secretary’.
Our source continued, “He’s very excited about it, and pinboards across the halls of power are already covered in poorly designed invites to bowling nights and pub quizes.”
“They’ve all got those little ‘take one’ tags on the bottom with his mobile number, email, pager, home number and Twitter account.”
“But no-one appears to have taken one yet.”