Friday 31 August 2012 by Steve Evans

Society for Explaining Things Slowly chief: “Stop talking please, Frankie.”


Professional moron baiter Frankie Boyle has enraged intelligent people everywhere by dangling word carrots in front of imbeciles once more.

“He’s done it again hasn’t he,” said Alex Fretwell of the Society of Explaining Things Slowly to Morons.

“I just finished explaining how his comments on Katie Price’s son Harvey were a reaction to how horribly manipulative she is by parading him in public like some kind of pity generating living accessory, when he goes and does this stuff when the Paralympics begin.”

“It takes us months to explain even the simplest of ideas slowly. This could take years. Thanks Boyle.”

Daily Mirror

Daily Mirror sub editor Barry Harvester said, “We believe it’s the right of the people that pay for our paper to be able to have an ill-informed opinion about comments they can read for free on Twitter.”

“It’s important that they can all chest beat and grunt disapproval to each other like the apes in that 2001 film. Although there are options of actual dialogue with Mr. Boyle via the ‘reply’ button on twitter, we feel it’s better for our sales figures if we partially print what he said then stand back.”

Mr Fretwell countered: “How about the red tops drip feed the herd actual ‘news stories’ to vent their spleens at? Such as ATOS sponsoring the games, that Republican that thinks women can’t become pregnant if they’ve been raped or David Cameron attending the Paralympics after removing DLA payments from thousands?”

“That’s what should be making people sick to the core.”

“Tell you what though; I break out in a cold sweat whenever I see Doug Stanhope’s touring the UK.”

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