Friday 31 August 2012 by Formelia Alberthine

Change to squatting laws could see Queen evicted from Buckingham Palace


Changes to the law which will see squatting in a residential building become illegal could lead to Britain’s longest standing offender, HRH Queen Elizabeth II, being evicted from Buckingham Palace.

The Queen, who this year celebrated 60 years of rent free accommodation in a building owned by the nation, is said to be planning to make representation to Westminster City Council with a view to being re-situated in a property becoming of a sitting monarch.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman confirmed the claims, suggesting a rapid-fire clear out of the property’s most valuable items.

He told us, “There are artefacts belonging to the citizens of Britain worth millions and millions of pounds being boxed at quite a frantic speed in order to leave us enough space to properly trash the place before our departure.”

“Previously, the duration of HRH’s stay would have meant she acquired the leasehold to the Palace, but all that’s gone skew-whiff.”

“Expect Her Majesty to make quite a lucrative appearance on ‘Cash in the Attic’ in the coming months.”

Official receptions

Amongst members of the public to highlight their concerns was 57 year-old Maureen Barker.

“When you see some of the people that get invited to their parties, it’s frightening to think about what damage they could be doing in there.”

“All those policemen outside are bloody useless. They just let them come and go as they please,” she said.

Career squatter, Mark Meld, said the Queen would do well to find a property, let alone a suitable doorway, in which to be adequately housed at such short notice.

“At her age, she’d be lucky to find someone from the council to have a proper conversation with, let alone empathise with her.”

“A bit like the Duke, really.”

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