Monday 20 August 2012 by Spacey

Days that don’t fall at the weekend are shit, find researchers


A study carried out by US researchers has concluded that days which aren’t Friday, Saturday or Sunday are widely regarded as shit.

Investigators concluded that as people approached the weekend they become happier, before spiralling back into the depths of despair late on Sunday evening.

“We’re not sure what the connection between days that fall during the working week, and feeling miserable, actually is.” Revealed Professor Arthur Stone of Stony Brook University.

“We’d originally assumed that it was just Mondays that people hated, but after studying the results of a poll of 340,000 people we have to conclude that Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday are also considered to be as soul-destroyingly morale-crushing.”

Weekdays shit

Professor Stone also revealed that the poll dismissed previously made claims that the Monday of the last full week of January – dubbed “blue Monday” – is the most depressing of the year.

“Mondays that fall within any month, whether the beginning or the end, have a similar impact upon people’s mood,” he revealed.

“The same goes for any Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.”

“In fact it would appear that the majority of people spend over 57% of their existance tormented by weekdays.

“The remainder appear to be those people that actually like their jobs.”

“But according to the poll they are widely regarded as utter wankers.”

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