After announcing that House of Lords reforms would be abandoned as a result of opposition from Conservative backbenchers, Nick Clegg has found out exactly how it feels to be continually fed a load of bullshit by politicians.
Mr Clegg, whose Liberal Democrats entered into a coalition agreement with the Conservatives following the 2010 general election, has spent the last 2 years finding out that a promise from a politician is as worthless as a Gary Glitter boxset wrapped in a copy of the Liberal Democrat election manifesto.
“Now I really understand how students feel after I promised to oppose any increase in tuition fees,” he said.
“I’ve got to say that the urge to throw heavy objects from tall buildings really is overwhelming.”
“However, I do think this experience will really help me to connect with voters who believed me when I said I’d protect the NHS.”
Clegg learns about lying
Mr Clegg revealed how being lied to has left him feeling angry and betrayed.
“I can’t believe after all the assurances I was given that I’ve ended up with nothing,” he complained.
“If I carry on as part of this coalition then I’ll just be lying to myself.”
“Oh well, ho-hum, not to worry.”
“Now where’s my nice shiny big chauffeur driven car?”