Saturday 28 July 2012

Tory MP Aidan Burley breaks Olympic record for fastest moron’s backtrack


Just minutes into the London 2012 games, Conservative MP Aidan Burley broke the world record for the fastest backtrack by a moron from of a potentially racist tweet, knocking forty minutes off the previous best.

The MP for Cannock Chase  told his Twitter followers, “The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen – more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state!” and followed up with, “Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap.”

However in a shock to the form book, Burley took just one hour and fifty two minutes to backtrack claiming he had been misunderstood, destroying the previous record for morons realising they’d said career limitingly stupid things on Twitter.

Burley was not alone in his record breaking attempt however, with thousands of retweets and comments encouraging Burley to a gold medal performance.

As one Tweeter told him, “Come on Aidan, you can do this! Distance yourself from your own comments from just a few moments ago!”

Another follower wrote, “The gold medal is there for the taking, just tell us it’s our fault for misunderstanding you, or that you were hacked – it’s there for the taking!”

Aidan Burley Tweets

Burley himself went on to complete his backtrack using the now famous “John Terry Defence”.

He told reporters, “No, you’ve all got it wrong. Some of my best friends are embroiled in mult-cultural crap, I love multi-cultural crap, it’s y’know, great. Or, if you don’t believe that, then I was being sarcastic.”

“What’s happened here is every single person who read that tweet, including Tory HQ immediately who distanced themselves from the tweet, have completely misunderstood what I wrote.”

“In fact, the only thing better than multi-cultural stuff is stuff from a single master culture, much like that Nazi-themed stag party I got sacked for attending.”

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