An investigation by the BBC has found that fake Facebook profiles are significantly less likely to fill your news feed with tedious updates and thinly-veiled calls for attention.
The investigation was led by Rory Cellan-Jones, who discovered that 100% of the bullshit statuses and chain letter photos came from genuine human beings with the ability to know better.
He found that fake users focus on businesses and adverts and leave people like you well alone unless you’re the sort of moron who accepts friend requests from people you don’t know.
Social media analyst Simon Williams told us, “No fake user has ever tagged me in a photo of a sick baby claiming that if it gets 50,000 shares then a hospital will give them a free operation.”
“And no fake user has ever plastered my news feed with photos of a sunrise insisting it’s the work of their particular brand of religious lunacy.”
“I think of fake profiles like gut bacteria. Pretty unpleasant when you think about it, but basically they don’t make your life any worse whatsoever.”
Fake Facebook profiles
Cellan-Jones showed his own news feed highlighting how it was genuine people who were making Facebook an awful place to hang out.
“Look at this one, it’s typical of the stuff I see on here,” he told viewers, “It’s a status that says, ‘I wish people would keep their opinions to themselves, they know who they are’.”
“Honestly, that’s a real person – I went to school with her. And I promise you it’s not posted ironically.”
“That’s the thing about fake profiles, they’re normally run by computers, and computers don’t tend to be simpering idiots.”