With heavy rain drenching the UK, the number of monumentally boring conversations about the weather are expected to reach record levels.
People working on supermarket checkouts or in newsagents will be amongst the hardest hit with questions such as ‘When does summer start?’ and ‘Isn’t it supposed to be July?’ predicted to continue well into Saturday.
BBC weather forecaster Matt Taylor warned that it could be August before there are any signs of an improvement in conversation quality.
“I would urge people to be prepared and don’t leave home unless you have absolutely to,” he said.
“Not because it’s raining, but because there’s a high possibility that an old lady will spend up to an hour telling you how she’s never seen rain like it before.”
The latest dull chit-chit warnings follow the UK’s worst outbreak of unimaginative discourse since records began in 1910, according to provisional Met Office figures.
With rain predicted to continue into August there’s no immediate end in sight for the banality.
“Indications so far are that it could be weeks before people start moaning about it being too hot,” warned the Environment Agency’s Pete Fox.