Thursday 5 July 2012 by Gary Stanton

Professor Brian Cox discovers entirely new Higgs Boson series on BBC1


Explaining the complexity of the Higgs Boson to the slack-jawed general public would require an expensive primetime series on BBC1, consisting of six one-hour episodes shot on location, Professor Brian Cox claimed last night.

The Physics pin-up boy told the BBC that the discovery of the Higgs Boson was a potentially significant moment in the history of his broadcasting career, and a vindication of the work he carried out on the Large Hadron Collider as part of his work placement.

And the former D-Ream keyboardist has thrown his hat into the ring to present such a show should the BBC decide to piss £15m up the wall by quenching the licence fee payer’s insatiable thirst for quantum mechanics.

But Cox is no certainty for the role after BBC chiefs hinted they might approach the Peter Higgs for the role after looking at the gaping hole in their finances left by Wonders of the Universe with Professor Brian Cox.

Higgs Boson theory

Making a strong case for his inclusion, Cox said earlier, “Yeah, technically speaking Peter did predict the particle, but it was us guys at CERN who put in the hard graft, sometimes working long into the afternoon in order to locate the little bugger.”

“Great theoretical brain undoubtedly, but zero charisma and a tendency to waffle on about string theory. That said, if you want to save money with a chalk and blackboard job then he’s your man.”

“Then you’ve got Steven Hawking. You know, Stevie hasn’t been well for some time. Do you really want to go putting him and his team of carers through the rigours of a demanding broadcasting schedule in some faraway location that probably doesn’t even have wheelchair access?”

“Between you and me – he doesn’t like cameras.”

Cox, meanwhile outlined his ambitious plans for episode one in which he plans to take the public with him on a journey to the heart of the atom.

“First off I need to explain about wave-particle duality and what better place to that than on a beach.”

“They get massive waves in Hawaii.”

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