Wednesday 20 June 2012 by Spacey

England mobilise search and rescue team to find James Milner


England manager Roy Hodgson has revealed that a search and rescue team is trying to identify the whereabouts of midfielder James Milner, who has been missing since June 11th.

Milner, who was last seen in the player’s tunnel seconds before the opening game of Englands Euro 2012 campaign against France, has been urged by Hodgson to make contact with the squad.

“I want James to know that no-one is angry with him, and we love him very much,” said Hodgson.

“Please, James, just ring, so we know you’re okay.”

England captain Steven Gerrard echoed Hodgson’s concerns for the Manchester City winger.

“When I’ve got the ball and I’m looking for an option I keep expecting to see him, but he’s not there,” he explained.

“If anyone knows where he is then please just pick up the phone and call the authorities.”

Milner sightings

There have been several reported sightings of Milner since he went missing, but none of these have been verified.

“Our hopes were raised when we received news that a group of men had been spotted running around aimlessly,” revealed England right back Glen Johnson.

“We thought that James could be among them, but it just turned out to be the Dutch team playing Portugal.”

If you have any information concerning the whereabouts of James Milner, please contact the other ten England players on the pitch by shouting obscenities at your television.

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