Monday 18 June 2012

Counting Black Bear awarded Maths GCSE grade ‘B’


A Black Bear which demonstrated rudimentary counting skills has earned a grade ‘B’ GCSE Maths qualification, according to reports.

The bears, which had not been known to possess mathematical ability are now considered ‘above average’ when compared to the average British teenager.

Chief Examiner Simon Williams told us, “Hopefully this will finally settle the debate about us dumbing down modern exams. Science has proved this animal can definitely count.”

“It would probably have been awarded an ‘A’ if it hadn’t defecated on the exam paper and tried to eat the child sat next to it.”

“Still, it’s already been offered a place at Huddersfield University to read Statistics.”

Black Bear counts

Experts have warned that dishing out qualifications to members of the animal kingdom will make it even more difficult for our young people find gainful employment.

“It’s already hard enough for employers to bring themselves to employ illiterate surly-looking teenagers who seem to think the world owes them a living – but now they have the choice of semi-literate bears.”

“Yes, health and safety might be an issue, but they’re far more pleasant to be around.”

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