Monday 11 June 2012

You have an urgent off-site meeting at 5pm, confirms diary


You have been called to an urgent client meeting at 5 O’Clock today and there’s no way you can get out of it, according to reports.

Despite the short notice, there is no possibility of rescheduling it and you’re sorry for any inconvenience this might cause your colleagues.

Office worker Dave Williams told us, “It’s come out of the blue, and I’d definitely planned to be at my desk till at least 5:30 today just like every other day.”

“But this is a meeting I absolutely have to go to, and it’s in an area with really bad mobile reception, so it’s probably best I just tell you all about it in the morning? Say 10:30-ish?”

“I mean, just because I’m an office administrator doesn’t mean I don’t have important external meetings. That’s jobist thinking right there.”

“The people who supply our photocopier toner said that if I could see them at 5pm today then we might get a lifetime discount, so it would be remiss of me not to take that opportunity – right?”

Urgent meeting

Bosses throughout the business world are reporting critical meetings being scheduled at the end of the day at rates never previously witnessed.

Sales Director Rachel Matthews told us, “I think today is going to be a massive one for the business. Every single one of my salesmen has an urgent cannot-miss appointment with a client at 5pm today.”

“I’ve told the female sales reps that they need to up their game otherwise they’re going to be left behind by the sales guys who all seem really up for it for some reason.”

“I’ve never seem them so eager to get out of the office and meet clients, some are even heading out at lunchtime. Long may it continue.”

I’m supporting England (but not John Terry)

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