Thursday 7 June 2012 by Spacey

Fans of watching self-obsessed arseholes turn to Big Brother as Leveson Inquiry takes break


Fans of watching live coverage of self-obsessed arseholes behaving atrociously have been forced to make do with Big Brother to fill the void that has been left by the break in proceedings at the Leveson Inquiry.

The public’s need to watch people make idiots of themselves live on TV has been satisfied by a number of politicians and public figures appearing at the Leveson Inquiry in recent weeks, but the current break has forced viewers to look elsewhere.

“It’s not the same, but Big Brother is the next best thing to watching intolerable bellsniffs who are prepared to say or do anything for public votes,” revealed one Leveson Inquiry die-hard.

“Hopefully when the Leveson Inquiry resumes next week I can watch the professionals rather than these Big Brother wannabes.”

Leveson break

Five, which hosts Big Brother, have revealed that they hope to keep the viewers that have tuned in as an alternative to the Leveson Inquiry, claiming that the participants of the long running reality TV show have more to offer than politicians.

“One of the main differences between Big Brother and politicians is that the public have to wait five years before they can vote politicians out,” said a Five spokesperson.

“There will be twists and turns along the way, and punishments for anyone who pretends that they have no recollection of secret tasks.”

“Participants that are under pressure might even do the decent thing and quit.”

“That’s something you’ll never see happen at the Leveson Inquiry.”

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