Friday 1 June 2012

Insurance companies quick to offer galaxy collision cover


As astronomers used the Hubble telescope to show that our Galaxy will crash into the one next to it, insurance companies wasted no time whatsoever in offering comprehensive cover for those seeking peace of mind in the face of Armageddon.

Observations have shown that the Andromeda galaxy is on a collision course with our own, and that insurance companies will sell you anything at all if they think you’ll buy it.

Insurance salesman Simon Williams told us, “People want to know that when Andromeda pummels into the Milky Way, their property is covered against any damage caused.”

“Nothing would be worse than seeing everything you own obliterated by an onrushing galaxy and then finding out you can’t afford to replace everything due to inadequate cover.”

“But don’t worry, for a small monthly payment our policy means you can put galaxy collision to the back of your mind.”

“And with our no claims discount you could save up 60% on your premium if no galaxies crash into the Milky Way for five years.”

Galaxy Collision

Worried consumers have been left confused by marketing for the new policy, claiming they really don’t know what they’d do if, “Andromeda landed in your back garden tomorrow”.

As one commented, “Would I call the fire brigade? I’m really not sure.”

However worker James Matthews echoed the sentiments of a nation by asking, “Is there some way I can use potential galaxy collision to take a sick day?”

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