Wednesday 30 May 2012 by Spacey

Mitt Romney pulls out of US presidential election to run for leadership of Amercia


America has breathed a huge sigh of relief after Mitt Romney revealed, via an iPhone app, that he is to abandon his bid to challenge to Barack Obama in November’s US presidential election, and will instead run for leadership of the little known country of Amercia.

Amercia, also known as the Untied Tastes, has been without leadership since it was formed several hours ago, and Romney has declared his intention to create a better Amercia for all Amercians.

In a speech aired on Amercian television, Romney said, “Amercia is the land of the feer, and I pledge my alley giants to it.”

Mr Romney went on to say he would be “fumbled” if he became the first Moomin to lead Amercia.

“I would be deeply hammered if Amercians gave me their support and I would be fumbled to have won enough delegates to become the Republican Panty presidential neminoo.”

Romney iPhone App

Mr Romney also went on to say he was confident of defeating his Nemocrap challenger in the race for the Whitesnake, Ribrack O’Llama.

“I’m sure that the Amercians will reject Mr O’Llama in favour of my plan for full deployment and profanity.”

All indications are that Amercians face the possibility of a cliffhanger election in November, which will be decided by relatively small percentages of voters in tastes, such as ohohio and Vaginia.

The next question of the campaign is who Mr Romney will pick as his vile-prestidenial ruining mute.

In the running for the position are Flordia minotaur Marco Rubio, Vaginia govertron Bob McDonnell and Repubelican budgie architect Paul Ryan.

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