Tuesday 29 May 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Pasty and caravan tax U-turn ‘great news for fat gypsies’


Britain’s traveller community have hailed a U-turn on taxing warm pasties and hot caravans, claiming they already pay far too much tax.

Fans of eating deformed pies and crapping in small cupboards have fought a long battle against the proposed taxes, pointing out that it particularly affects those that ‘don’t simply steal them’.

With a typical Ginsters taking up to 4 hours to reheat on a camping stove, some travellers have had to cut back on their charity work, just to make time to feed their families.

“It’s hard, juggling my volunteer work at the women’s shelter and doing my share around the caravan”, explained seasoned traveller Mick O’Hanlon.

“But at the same time, we all have to contribute our bit to society.”

Government U-Turn

Many travellers agree that a 5% tax on static caravans is ‘a fair price to pay’, and a sensible compromise from the proposed 20%.

As O’Hanlon explained, “A sudden 20% increase in costs risked destabilising an already fragile industry, whereas the gradual introduction of a transparent fiscal levy allows us to slowly adjust our spending habits.”

“I’m going to add a note thanking the chancellor, when I fill in this year’s tax return.”

Mr O’Hanlon is relieved that the so-called ‘pasty tax’ has been dropped, but acknowledges that pasties aren’t the healthiest food for a growing family.

That’s why he’s vowed to take his children with him to his pilates class in future – “I wouldn’t want to burden the NHS with avoidable health problems”, he quipped.

Mr O’Hanlon thinks the u-turn will renew people’s faith in politicians, and reassure them that they always have their best interests at heart. But he also has a word of warning for his fellow tax payers, claiming “with great power comes great responsibility.”

“We must use our ability to alter government policy wisely”, he insisted.

“You need to consider what it costs someone else, when implementing excise adjustments. If there’s one thing every gypsy knows, you definitely can’t just do what you like.”

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