Tuesday 29 May 2012 by Dermot Magee

Calls for equal rights for the Stupid, Lazy and Talentless


The National Council for Stupid, Lazy and Talentless people has launched a new campaign to promote equal rights and opportunities for their members.

Speaking at the launch of the campaign, Matthew R. Schlock, CEO of NCSLT, claimed that society was not doing enough for those who failed to achieve success as a result of their own faults and actions.

“We hear a lot about equal rights for people with disabilities and about non-discrimination on the basis of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and so on – but society is forgetting about those who cannot prosper because they have nothing to offer and can’t be bothered trying.”

NCSLT has offered free counselling services to sufferers since 2007, but Schlock claims the take-up has been low.

“There are significant challenges in getting our message to sufferers of stupidity, laziness and uselessness.”

“We estimate that there are up to 20 million undiagnosed cases of stupidity, laziness and lack of talent in the UK alone.”

“We hope this campaign will promote and encourage advocacy for people with no significant disabilities or disadvantages, who simply aren’t productive members of society.”

Lazy to get equal rights

Schlock continued, “It’s unfair that SLT sufferers see intelligent, hard-working and skilled people enjoying success while they cannot benefit in the same way.”

“The fruits of that success should be shared amongst those who have no ability or inclination to contribute. We hope this campaign moves us towards equality and social inclusion.”

Schlock confirmed receiving messages of support from all major political parties, most trade unions, a number of police forces and all the major religions.

“It’s nice that they boast proud traditions of equal opportunities for the stupid, lazy or talentless”, said Schlock.

“But we need actions, not words. Burger King donated 10,000 vouchers for 50p off a Whopper Meal for anyone who can’t be arsed to cook something. That’s exactly the generosity our members need.”

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