Monday 28 May 2012

Bez completely unaware Happy Mondays reunion was needed


After the Happy Mondays completed their comeback tour, part-time maraca shaker Bez admitted he was completely unaware that he had ever stopped being in the Happy Mondays.

Bez, real name Mark Berry, spoke to reporters about the band, insisting he had no idea where all this talk of a ‘reunion’ had come from.

He told them, “Reunions are for people who split up, but we’re still as strong as we were in five years ago back in 1985 when I joined the band in the first place.”

“The nineties are going to be massive for the Monday’s, and I can’t wait for the ride to begin.”

“Hey, my hands are quite wrinkly today – I must have spent too long in the bath.”

Happy Mondays reunion

The Happy Mondays have been accused of simply reforming to make some money, in direct contrast to actions of just about every other adult in the country who only do things for altruistic reasons.

Music fan Simon Williams told us, “I makes me sick to see these bands playing the songs they’ve written to audiences of people happy to pay money to see them.”

“It makes a mockery of the whole music industry, which people like Simon Cowell have spent so long trying to gentrify.”

“The Happy Mondays should just retire and let the next wave of musicians take their place, you know, like a some poorly-dressed teenager with a laptop.”

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