Friday 25 May 2012 by Spacey

Riot police to be armed with bulletproof Jeremy Hunts


After it emerged that Jeremy Hunt is completely impenetrable when under intense fire, the Home Office have revealed plans to arm riot police with replicas of the culture secretary as a means of protection.

It is hoped that the move will help police deflect any missiles and ammunition that is thrown or fired at them during any kind of civil unrest.

“Jeremy Hunt has been under continuous attack for the last month, but he’s still standing as if nothing happened,” revealed a Home Office spokesperson.

“This sort of resilience is just what the police will need when disaffected youths run low on supplies of trainers and plasma TVs.”

The MoD have also revealed that they are carrying out tests on Mr Hunt in the hope of developing technology that will protect soldiers during conflicts.

“There doesn’t appear to be anything capable of taking him down,” said an MoD spokesperson.

“If we can find out how he survives such overwhelming attack while still holding his position then lives could be saved and conflicts ended sooner.”

Jeremy Hunt Impervious

Mr Hunt will face his biggest test yet when he appears at the Leveson inquiry next week, and the MoD have revealed that they will be keeping a close watch.

“The fact that he has survived this long is a miracle,” said the spokesperson

“If he survives his appearance at the inquiry then we hope to be equipping soldiers with Jeremy Hunts by the end of the year.”

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