Friday 18 May 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Greek voters set to reject austerity, mortality, gravity


The Greek electorate has indicated that it intends to vote against unpopular aspects of reality, despite their crushing inevitability.

Having spent more money than they can ever hope to repay, the population of Greece is likely to vote down the sure-fire fact that no-one wants to give them any more cash.

And they could also reject death, the smell of damp dogs and fat Germans who wear Speedos.

Recognised by many as the seat of democracy, pundits are keeping a close eye on how mindless optimism pans out, once it’s recognised by a complex bureaucratic process.

France’s new president, Francois Hollande, has welcomed the approach. He too believes that the world would be a better place if people just voted against things they don’t like.

He is already considering a referendum on famine, pestilence and disease, and is ahead in opinion polls on the issues of compulsory snow at Christmas, and an end to garlic making your breath smell.

Greek vote

To the surprise of many, Greece’s stance already appears to be working.

Hollande’s flight to Athens was struck by lightning, engulfed by flames before plummeting into a mountain, but the French president was able to complete his journey by swimming through the air.

“This is a great day for democracy”, announced Hollande, as he visited the other survivors in a field immortuary.

“The people have spoken, and the fundamental certainties of the universe have listened.”

“Merkel said that gravity couldn’t be rejected, and yet here we are, bobbing around in the sky. Like so many of these voters, I’ve got my head firmly in the clouds.”

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