Thursday 17 May 2012 by Spacey

Euro crisis escalates as playground value of England squad Panini stickers plummets


With expectations of an England triumph at Euro 2012 at an all-time low, the swapsy value of Panini stickers featuring the 23-man squad has reached rock-bottom.

Collectors have revealed their reluctance to buy stickers in the fear that they could end up with a Glen Johnson or an Andy Carroll, leading to fears that lack of demand could lead to a playground crisis.

“With investment comes risk,” explained 8 year-old Ollie Hubbard.

“When you buy stickers you’re hoping for a Van Persie or a Ronaldo, but there’s always the risk of ending up with a Stewart Downing.”

“If that happens then you’re in a situation where you’ve got a holding you simply can’t shift.”

“You always end up with multiple stickers of a particular player, and if that player is someone like John Terry then you’ve got a playground currency that you can’t even give away.”

Panini Crisis

Panini have revealed that they are considering a round of quantitative easing that will involve injecting large amounts of stickers from stronger squads such as Spain and Holland into newsagents.

A Panini spokesperson revealed that the move would hopefully reduce the risk and therefore increase demand.

“If we can boost consumer confidence then we’re hopeful we can avert a catastrophe.”

The spokesperson went on to warn that injuries to the England squad prior to the tournament could cause irreparable damage.

“Things look pretty bleak at the moment, but if we have to introduce a Jordan Henderson sticker into the market, it’ll be game over.”

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