Monday 14 May 2012

Britain breeds, owns and neuters talent


Women across the nation have pointed their partners to the Britain’s Got Talent final as the perfect example of why testicles are merely a hindrance if you want to reach your true potential.

After an animal won the show as a result of hundred of years of captive breeding, training it didn’t sign up for, and the removal of its testicles, female experts insisted this particular approach is as a stone cold recipe for success.

Female viewer Sharon Williams told us, “Are you telling me Pudsey would have been on that stage if he’d still got his two little tiny brains controlling his behaviour? Of course he wouldn’t.”

“He’d have been at home with his paw in his pants making snide remarks about the whole spectacle. Probably.”

“I’m just saying that men would be happier, more controllable, and ultimately more successful if us let us cut their bollocks off.”

Britain’s Got Talent final

However men have countered by saying that maybe all it needs for them to become successful is for them to go about their work when completely naked.

Male viewer Mike Williams told us, “Sharon might think it’s because Pudsey has no testicles, but personally I feel like his success is down to his freedom to perform unencombered by clothing.”

“That’s why he reached the top, definitely.”

“I’m pretty sure women would break through this glass ceiling I keep hearing about if they started working in the nude.”

“Try it, I bet I’m right.”

*Did you vote for a dog? Then you definitely need this BGT T-shirt

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