Sunday 13 May 2012

Man City title inspires school teams to buy strong fast children from other countries


A fairytale end to the Premier League season in which Manchester City showed how dreams can come true if you have billions of pounds, has already inspired school teams across the nation to begin looking for talented children from overseas.

City claimed their first title in 44 years armed with little more than all the money they could possibly want, and the ability to buy any player they felt like.

PE teacher Simon Williams told us, “Today is an historic one, and Man City’s victory is an inspiration to all of us who work in sports at the grassroots level.”

“We’ve already begun bringing in athletic children from across Europe, and I’m confident that next season our school team will be the very best an education budget can afford.”

“Sure, hard work is still going to part of the coaching process, but in importance it’s now some way behind a fat wallet.”

“Fortunately there are some pretty athletic kids available from the French school system if you know where to look, and Africa is a positive gold mine if you’ve got a few quid to spend – which we have thanks thanks to some cuts we’ve made in the science curriculum.”

Buying a winning team

Meanwhile junior football teams throughout the UK have begun ‘living the dream’ by offering to buy children from other teams.

As one coach explained, “Manchester City have shown the way, and right now every junior footballer dreams of being part of an expensively assembled plaything for someone with more money than sense.”

“It’s what modern sport is all about.”

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