Tuesday 8 May 2012 by Spacey

Haye and Chisora fight to take place in car park in Newham


Boxing manager and promoter Frank Warren is expected to announce that David Haye and Dereck Chisora are to have a brawl in a car park on July 14th in front of a group of excited schoolchildren shouting ‘fight! fight! fight!’.

The brawl, which is expected to involve two grown men circling each other over a possible twelve rounds, is expected to be broken up by a passing PE teacher who will tell onlookers to get back to class.

The British heavyweights were involved in a brawl following Chisora’s defeat by Vitali Klitschko in Munich, resulting in both men receiving a weeks detention that consisted of picking up litter from the playground.

Warren, who had previously stated that he wouldn’t promote any further scraps between Haye and Chisora, revealed that he had been swayed after Gavin Stockdale from Year 11 threatened to flush his head down the toilet and tell Mandy Simpkins that he had AIDS.

Haye Chisora rematch

“Gavin was very persuasive,” revealed Warren.

“It was a matter of weighing up whether it would be worse to get into trouble with teachers or have my head shoved down a toilet that he’d just taken a dump in.”

Warren revealed that he’d settled on the Newham venue after exploring a range of other potential locations.

“There was the possibility of it taking place behind the science lab during break, but it was too risky,” he revealed.

“I looked at the school field, but again it was too risky and it probably wouldn’t get beyond the second round before Mr Stewart came flying out of his office blowing his whistle.”

Haye and Chisora have already begun trading insults leading up to fight.

“Your mum wears a wig with a chin strap,” Chisora told Haye

“Yeah, well your mum cooks socks in Hull,” hit back Haye.

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