Tuesday 8 May 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Cameron and Clegg blame relationship problems on game of ‘Yellow Car’


David Cameron and Nick Clegg are hoping to rebuild their fragile friendship, after a game of ‘Yellow Car’ got out of hand.

The game, in which contestants can punch each other if they spot a yellow-hued passenger vehicle, is now recognised as a barrier to diplomatic accord.

Cameron first introduced Clegg to the game on a journey to Scotland, at the point where the tarmac runs out just north of Wigan.

“We were going up there to egg Salmond’s tree house”, explained Cameron, “but Clegg was bored because his Nintendo DS was flat.”

“Our grown-ups were overtaken by an AA lorry, which technically isn’t a car, but does have seating for passengers. It was at that point that I shouted ‘Yellow Car!’ and poked Clegg in the bladder.”

Coalition turmoil

While Clegg now claims that ‘only cars can count’, he was keen to join in at the time, so he didn’t look like a ‘dillon’.

“I did let out a bit of wee, but I just pretended it was Lucozade”, explained Clegg. “Then I punched Cameron in the tits, as we passed a canary-coloured Volkswagen Jetta.”

Civil servants have urged the pair to switch to pub cricket, before the game escalates to noogies or dead legs.

“These two have been cooped up together on a difficult journey, but I’ve told them if they don’t stop squabbling they’ll both be kicked out”, claimed a senior civil servant.

“There’s other games they can play while the adults wrestle with the controls”, he insisted. But the unnamed driver is keen that they avoid another round of ‘I Spy’.

“I know the rules for these games can be baffling to parents and steering committees alike”, he admitted.

“But I’m still not convinced Jeremy Hunt locked himself in that suitcase.”

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