Friday 4 May 2012 by by JonnyB

Olympic rooftop missiles ‘stolen by scrap metal dealers’


Police and Olympic officials have been searching for a battery of surface-to-air missiles that had been installed on London rooftops in order to safeguard the games.

It is thought that the missiles, or ‘Boris Bombs,’ were taken for scrap metal, the value of which has rocketed in the past year.

A resident of the flats below, Jed Ahmed said “there were some dodgy blokes with a lorry going up and down the street looking for stuff.”

“One of the neighbours here had a skip, and all the metal went out of it. Then I glanced up at the roof and they’d taken my cocking missiles.”

“The guys from the Olympics had only just been to install them. They’d left the controls and that, but I hadn’t even had time to read the instruction booklet.”

Scrap metal thefts

Rogue elements have become an increasing problem in recent years, according to Jonathan Towens, a business affairs correspondent for the BBC.

“Street furniture, garden ornaments, anything made of metal or wiring – it’s all attractive to criminals.”

“This goes back to massive changes on the international commodities markets, in part led by huge growth in the Far East.”

“Hang on – where’s my fucking outside broadcast equipment?!?”

A spokesperson for the London 2012 Olympics denied that the loss of the missiles would have an adverse effect on the games.

“We obviously have contingency plans in place to target people who bring in unauthorised merchandise,” she said.

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